


sea of silence

by MaliciousVegetarian



Series: Geralt Whump Week 2020 [REUPLOAD] [5]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Ghosts, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, Loneliness, M/M, hatoful boyfriend au, sighs deeply, yes I'm giving away my own plot twist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:35:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26713825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaliciousVegetarian/pseuds/MaliciousVegetarian
Summary: Geralt spends his days in the school library, ignored by the world around him and not particularly bothered by it. Until Jaskier comes along.Or, the Hatoful Boyfriend au absolutely no one asked for.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Geralt Whump Week 2020 [REUPLOAD] [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1943452
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	sea of silence

**Author's Note:**

> Edit 9/28/2020 - This is a reupload of a previously posted fic. I deleted all my witcher fic during a Bad Brain Time, and am slowly replacing things.
> 
> This is the weirdest of my whump week fics, hands down! And while editing it, I realized I didn't finish it, whoops. So here's chapter one of *deep sigh* the Hatoful Boyfriend au. Specifically, this is based on Nageki's otome route, with some references to Nageki's backstory as revealed in the Bad Boys' Love ending. The title is the title of Nageki's theme from the game. Go listen to it if you don't know it, it's very pretty. A big old thanks once again to WingedQuill, for betaing this and also for letting me ramble about the extended version of this.
> 
> Warnings: suicide, discussions of torture

When the dark haired boy comes into the library, Geralt doesn’t pay much attention to him. It’s the books he’s carrying that he’s interested in.

Geralt is expecting him to put the books on the counter and leave, but he glances over and smiles at him when Geralt moves out of the corner he’d been reading in. “Oh, hey! Sorry, I thought I was alone in here.”

“Hmm.” Geralt can’t be bothered to give a proper answer. He keeps his eyes fixed on the books and off of the boy’s friendly, open face.

The boy tries to juggle the large armload of books. “Oh, sorry. Were you waiting for these all summer?”

Summer? He can’t remember. Why is this stranger talking to him? The other students never do that. “Hm.”

The other student attempts to place the books on the desk in an orderly manner, but they slip all over the place. “There you go! I’m Jaskier, by the way.”

Geralt looks away, trying to gather himself.

“What’s your name?”

“It’s . . .Geralt. Geralt of Rivia.”

“Nice to meet you!” Who gave this person any right to be so cheerful?

“Hmm.”

Jaskier laughs. “I’ll leave you to it, I guess.” And then he turns, and is gone.

The next time Geralt sees him is - days later, he thinks. There are a couple other students in the library, observing the status quo of ignoring Geralt exactly as hard as he ignores them. They look up when Jaskier enters, slamming the door shut in a way that makes Geralt shudder, but quickly return to their work.

Jaskier walks toward the desk, then looks around, seeming slightly lost. He sits down in the receptionist’s chair, and pulls out a small notebook. Slowly, the other students make their way out. Jaskier starts to look increasingly bored.

“Wish I could just fly outta here,” he mutters.

Geralt snorts, and speaks before he fully thinks through what he’s doing. “Planning to jump off the building? The window here would be good for that.”

Jaskier jumps, whirling around to face him. “Geralt! I didn’t see you there!” He glances around, seeming confused. “I could have sworn I was alone in here.”

Geralt shrugs. “I’m quiet. People don’t notice me,” he says bluntly.

Jaskier makes a face. “You’re definitely sneaky. You’re in the library a lot, huh?”

“Is there a problem with that?”

“No, just . . .” Jaskier trails off, then seems to shake himself out of his reverie. “I mean, books are all well and good. I guess I just wasn’t expecting a freshman to be this concentrated on studying.”

Is he a freshman? Geralt’s not sure. “Never said I was studying.”

“Reading for pleasure, then? A man after my own heart.”

“Hmm.” He grabs a book one of the earlier students had left from the desk, and slips away through the stacks.

The next time Geralt is aware of, someone’s saying his name.

“Are you here, Geralt?” It’s Jaskier, and he’s getting louder. Geralt feels something fall away from him, and he speaks without thinking about it.

“Be quiet in the library,” he snaps. Jaskier’s eyes widen, and he laughs a little.

“There you are!”

“Did you need something?” Something feels - off. Geralt is unbalanced, not sure what to do with someone acknowledging his presence so openly.

“I was just wondering if you were here. It seems every time I get settled in, you show up and scare the shit out of me.”

“Hm. I’m always here.”

“You certainly seem to be! Not one for a social life, huh?”

Geralt looks away, and Jaskier sighs. “I’m sorry, that was invasive. My friend Yen’s always telling me off for that.”

“ . . . It’s alright.” Geralt watches the other boy, thinking. “You’re here a lot yourself.”

Jaskier puffs up a little bit. “I’m part of the library committee, I work here.”

“Yes. Why?”

He splutters. “Why? What do you mean?”

“I never see you reading.”

“I read plenty! I just . . . prefer to use this time for other pursuits.”

Geralt’s not sure why he’s still talking. Something in him seems to be coming unstuck, blooming. There is a feeling that he can’t name, the opposite of loneliness, that seems to be building in his gut, and has been since Jaskier first talked to him.

“What do you do instead?”

Jaskier glances away, almost embarrassed. “I write music.”

“Oh.” It’s impressive, Geralt thinks.

“Oh? I’m baring my soul to you here, I’d like a little more.”

“That’s. Cool?” He’s stumbling, and he can feel it.

“That’s cool, he says,” Jaskier mutters, lifting his eyes to the heavens.

“What, um. What is your music - played on?”

Jaskier smiles at that, and something in Geralt relaxes a little. “The lute.”

“The lute?” Geralt has a vague idea that people don’t play those any more.

“Yeah,” Jaskier says, managing to sound not at all sheepish. “I’d play a demonstration for you, but I figure that would go against the whole,” he waves a hand at Geralt. “‘Quiet in the library’ thing.”

He’s teasing him. Geralt’s being teased right now. He has absolutely no idea how to respond.

He doesn’t realize he’s walking away until he’s done it.

The next time he sees Jaskier, it’s a hot day in May. Or at least, Geralt assumes it’s hot, based on what he can see out the window.

Jaskier comes in, looking furtively around as if he’s hiding from something, then flops dramatically on one of the stuffed chairs. “Nice that they turned on the air conditioning,” he says, apparently to no one in particular. What a strange human.

“It’s not on,” Geralt says from his corner, and is once again rewarded by Jaskier startling. “It’s always cooler in here than it is outside.”

“Geralt! Gods, you’re good at going unseen. Why aren’t you out at the sports festival?”

Sports festival. He remembers what that is, but he hasn’t heard anything about it the past week. He shrugs, wishing, as he often finds himself wishing with Jaskier, that he had a better answer. “Why aren’t you?”

Jaskier laughs at him, and his laugh is clear, cutting through the library’s usual silence. “In this heat? I decided I’d better take refuge here.” He cocks his head to the side. “Although it almost would have been worth it to see Lambert in his cheerleader get up.”

“Lambert?”

“He’s one of my classmates. Class president, actually. He’s kind of an asshole, but he’s fun. Sorry, I’m probably boring you.”

Geralt trains his eyes on the wall next to Jaskier’s head. “Hm. You aren’t.”

Jaskier raises an eyebrow, waiting for input.

“Keep going.”

“Alright. He didn’t see the appeal in any of the official activities, so he made his own. As far as I know, he’s got the clothes to match. And, let’s see. My friend Yennefer is doing the three legged race, which should be hilarious and again, was almost enough to lure me out into the heat. I think I’ve mentioned her to you before, she’s great. I mean, she’s awful, and I hate her half the time, but I love her.”

Geralt nods, even though he has no idea about the dynamics Jaskier seems to take for granted.

“We’ve known each other since we were tiny, so I guess it makes sense. We’ve only started talking again the last couple years. Since I started here, really.”

Geralt is pretty sure he’s supposed to ask a question at this point. He doesn’t.

Jaskier pauses for a moment, and then just keeps going. He keeps going for what must be a long time, but Geralt can’t bring himself to care. There’s something about listening to Jaskier talk that makes Geralt feel - alive.

That night, he begins to remember.

_He’s pressed against the wall, and he can feel the limp, cold hand still draped over his leg. His shoulders hurt and his eyes are still burning with tears. He can’t look, he won’t look, they can’t make him look. They can make him stay here, they can bring the humans in, but they can’t make him look._

The memory shakes him in a way he can’t place. He’s used to his easy, boring life. He knows the ins and outs of each day. This doesn’t fit with that.

There’s only one thing different now. Jaskier.

He doesn’t see Jaskier again for a few days. When he returns, Geralt is sitting at one of the tables reading, as he sometimes does when the library is empty. For once, Jaskier notices him right away and, just as unusually, seems to actually be looking for something. He greets Geralt and starts scanning the shelves, pulling a few thin volumes out. There seems to be something he can’t find, however. After a while, he stops, and glances at the book Geralt’s reading.

“That’s the assigned reading, isn’t it?”

Geralt doesn’t know anything about any assigned reading, but he nods his head. It’s easier to go along with Jaskier than to question him.

“Is it any good?”

“No. It forces its morals down your throat, and says nothing particularly revolutionary.”

Makes sense it’s assigned reading then. Jaskier is still standing there as if he wants something.

He might just want the book. But this is Jaskier, and so he probably wants to talk.

“. . . What do you like to read?”

It’s a very open question, he realizes once he says it, but there’s no point in taking it back now. Jaskier cocks his head, thinking. “I liked The Last Wish. Did you ever read that?”

“Hm. I have.”

There’s an expectant pause, which Geralt eventually fills.

“I liked it, too.”

Jaskier smiles, and Geralt feels the same thing he had during their last interaction, as if color is seeping back into his world. He wants to make Jaskier smile like that all the time, wants to see him that happy. He’s beautiful, Geralt realizes. How on earth did he come to be talking to Geralt?

He hands Jaskier the disgraced assigned reading, and watches him check out the pile of books for himself. He thinks back to the beginning of the semester, when all he’d wanted from his fellow student was a different stack of books.

Maybe things change, after all.

The next time Geralt doesn’t leave the corner, doesn’t say hello to him. He’s mostly expecting Jaskier to leave without seeing him. But after looking around for a few minutes, the other boy catches his eye. He jumps, as if startled.

“Geralt? What are you doing here?”

Geralt has no idea what he means. Why wouldn’t he be here? He’s always here.

He’s always - here?

“Hm.”

“Not that I’m displeased to see you, but - school’s still on break. I came in by accident, and Mr.Urcheon told me I could stay and study if I wanted to.”

It’s summer, isn’t it. Geralt hadn’t noticed. How had he not noticed it was summer? Why - why was he here?

He’s always here.

Something is being pulled away as the knowledge sinks into his bones - school is not currently in session, he doesn’t remember leaving the school, he doesn’t remember going home. The creeping sensation that he’s felt since he began talking to Jaskier suddenly has an identification - it’s the feeling that his life doesn’t make sense.

“Geralt?” Jaskier must have noticed, have seen something in his face. He seems worried about something. Geralt gets the feeling. “Why are you in the corner when there are still seats open? Are you that committed to the brooding loner act?”

Geralt shrugs.

Jaskier looks like he’s building up to saying something he’s nervous about. “Are you - do you really like being alone? Or is there something else going on?”

“Hm.”

“It’s just that I’ve noticed that no one other than me talks to you, even when you’re sitting in the middle of the library. Geralt, are you being bullied?”

Is he? It’s true, what Jaskier says. It’s why he had been surprised when Jaskier had first greeted him. Nobody ever acknowledged him. This - this makes sense, he supposes.

“Hm.”

“If you ever need anything, I’ve - I’ve been there before, and I’d like to support you in any way I can. So ask, if you need help. Please.”

Geralt looks down at his hands. They’ve clenched without him realizing it. “I will.”

Is Jaskier right? Is that why everyone ignores him? Or is there something - more? The uncomfortable feeling is still there, soaking his every sense.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for sticking this one out! The next chapter will be up at . . . some point. Come shout at me about birds at leavemecryingdandelion on tumblr


End file.
